‘Bonding’ and the media’s troubles with sex and “difference”

TV continues to push the boundaries of what we see and hear about. Last year it felt like every other film or Tv show mentioned polyamory or non-monogamy. Remember Wanderlust? And, in 2019, it feels like kink and BDSM are the new poly. I have written before about how media uses these issues as a way of both controlling (cautionary tale stuff like Anita wrote about here) as well as confusing and conflating “difference” with “evil” through subtle or blatant mis-representation and errors.

Alethya has been around in this space long enough (and Anita is old enough to remember, and be affected by, Section 28) to get this and to feel sad rather than surprised but it is still frustrating.

Anita is reading some Bret Easton Ellis at the moment (another writer who polarises opinion) and she agrees with him that it is more vital than ever that we not only get FACTS checked but that we portray the nuances of all aspects of life, and not just the bits that fit our world-view. It is important we understand that, just because we hold our opinions strongly, this doesn’t make them facts. It is also important that we make sure we keep our innate biases and versions of the “way things should be” to one side when considering a subject, any subject.

It is also important to listen to the people who ARE engaged with certain activities, to take their expertise and experiences seriously, as well as to assess and critique it.

We will be posting an essay this week on the idea that mainstream media has a duty to be neutral about things that it, and most of its audience, knows little about but, in the meantime, make sure you take a look at the piece below on ‘Bonding’, a new Netflix show about a professional dominatrix in New York.

The link to the Rolling Stone piece is here


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