Coaching is hot news. The Bill Gates TED talk from 2013 is being used within the context of the endless hustle-culture of late stage neoliberal financialisation to pressure all of us more and more to improve improve improve, to get the ‘edge’.
Coaching is defined as by the International Coaching Federation as: ‘partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential. The process of coaching often unlocks previously untapped sources of imagination, productivity and leadership.’
Coaching is, for me, about a space for being fully seen and heard. It’s a space created, weekly or however often you need, within which you tune into your needs, your feelings and your goals. Where you’re not ‘given feedback’ but where you can give yourself feedback. Where you learn to understand and feel into YOU better than you did before. This is done through the tools of reflective listening, open question and presence. These skills are often valued very highly financially and culturally when men (think Simon Sinek and Michael Bungay Stanier) do them and yet are often expected of and/or valued less when done by women and minority groups.
As a coach, I wanted to share what I think coaching should and shouldn’t be.
What coaching shouldn’t be…
Just for rich, white straight men
Someone telling you what to do
Focused on the past or the far future
Only about work, weight loss, leadership or ‘managing’ change
About listening to another talk and tell
What coaching can be about and for…
Possibilities
To be seen and heard fully
Goals and actions
Choosing what to do
Choosing what not to do
Feeling confident
Feeling more like you
Setting boundaries
Dropping defences
Getting things done
Feeling successful, however YOU define success
Feeling lighter
Feeling bigger
Curiosity
Creativity
Joy
Anger
Messy and non-linear
Achievements
Learning to do nothing
Beautiful
Coaching is all these things and more. And it will change you.
It differs crucially from counselling and mentoring by being a wide open and yet structured space for you to explore and figure things out. Once you’ve experienced the power of reflective listening and powerful questions you’ll wonder why you didn’t do it sooner.
I ma not actively coaching clients at the moment but if you wish to be added to a waiting list or have any questions, please do email me: anita.cassidy@alethya.com
