Just before Easter, Anita was asked to take part in a panel discussion about relationships. The event was organised by the London OM community (Orgasmic Meditation). You can learn more about them here.
The event took place near Angel and was attended by about 40+ people across a range of ages and backgrounds. The panellists were: Kapil Gupta (who runs a men’s community), Miia Koponen (dating coach) and Jessica Parker (host of Pleasure Island and Liquid Love events and sexological bodyworker).
The event was lively and engaging with interesting questions from the audience (Is the idea of a primary a hangover from monogamous structures? Can marriage last forever?) as well as a real sense, from all the participants, that the key thing in relationships is to learn about and understand yourself and also to accept that that self, and its needs, will likely change.
This was, not, perhaps, what people wanted to hear. Part of the appeal of monogamy can often be the well-worn groove it allows us to run along in terms of how relationships “should” look. The idea of going off into a relationship wilderness, a territory defined only by you and your needs, can be very scary.
This is where it is important to emphasise the other key idea that came up: community. You are not alone in wanting to forge a successful and loving relationship(s), in having challenges in existing relationships, and yet it can often feel like that when we are swiping left or right or we are facing a long weekend doing the same old same old, or with few plans and even less confidence.
Reaching out and connecting with events, communities and groups (like Alethya’s NEXUS events as well as the community Kapil runs, the OM community as well as the wide range of services that Miia and Jessica offer) is a great starting place for drawing out the map that is your territory, your needs as well as the needs of the people in your life.
Andrea and Anita started the Alethya community because we both felt so alone in wanting something different for ourselves. The great thing about relating in 2019 is that, whatever your needs and desires, you are not alone.